My Secret Cure for Your Inner Most Struggles

Tell me you inner most struggle currently. I know you think you’re alone. I know you’re ashamed or embarrassed to admit it, to put it out into the world, or to put that burden on someone else. I promise, I can relate. It’s not a burden. I’m no
t here to solve your problem. I’m just here to let you know you can get through it. I’m just here to lend an ear. If I can help in any way, I’ll offer, I’ll try. But I promise not to make any promises, so you don’t feel like you’re burdening someone else. I’m just here to let you know it’s completely normal. We all struggle through the same emotions and fears; all in our different ways and different circumstances and some more than others, but we all do.

My greatest joy is being able to relate to people through emotions we all feel at some time or another. I listen, like really listen, the kind of listening you crave. Then, I tap into those emotions of mine and write from that place in my soul, those moments in my life, but using your details. Music heals, inspires, and strengthens. Let me help. Let me create music. Life is real. Emotions are real. I believe that it hurts, that it weighs on your mind. Lay it out for me and I will create music to heal your soul in a way that only music can. The kind you can listen to alone and cry or rejoice or use as your “let’s get down to business” song.

Today, I had a long chat with a good friend of mine and for the first time, we let down all our walls and I felt safe. I dared to be vulnerable, as did she. I shared a truth that I am so ashamed of and yet I’m overcoming. It’s like one of those days, when my creative self sits on the couch in my PJs all day. A wall. A distraction. Resistance. Vulnerability. 

I love music and what I can do with it, but now and again, I feel unworthy. Unworthy of good co-writers, making the right connections, having people look up to me. I don’t want to feel that! No one does! That’s why I numb. I numb those emotions by watching TV all day and not looking at the task at hand that is causing me so much turmoil. The problem is, I’m not an all-day TV watcher. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t even recognize that person and I’m embarrassed for people to see that person. I don’t want to share it. I don’t want people to see that, for fear that they’ll make assumptions about me as a person or opinions about my worthiness.

The truth is though, that we all have days like that. We all have moments when we block out and numb the things that cause us pain and turmoil. We can see it in the alcoholic that started drinking when his wife died in a car crash in which he was driving. We see it in the overweight girl who eats ice cream and watches an endless number movies, because she wants to escape the world in which she's teased at school. We see it in the overworked corporate ladder climber who takes a pill to relax on the weekends, so they won’t worry about the things that can’t be controlled. We numb. It’s not uncommon. It’s not unusual. It’s not OK, but it is real. 

Tell me your story, let me feel your pain, so I can put it on paper and to music. Then, you can slowly heal through the music and be better for that experience. No anger, no fear, no consuming thoughts. Just the accepting of what is already past, so you can move forward freely, like a sailboat cutting through water by the power of the wind. This is my offering to the world. This is my passion and the most powerful gift I could ever give.