My Secret Cure for Your Inner Most Struggles

Tell me you inner most struggle currently. I know you think you’re alone. I know you’re ashamed or embarrassed to admit it, to put it out into the world, or to put that burden on someone else. I promise, I can relate. It’s not a burden. I’m no
t here to solve your problem. I’m just here to let you know you can get through it. I’m just here to lend an ear. If I can help in any way, I’ll offer, I’ll try. But I promise not to make any promises, so you don’t feel like you’re burdening someone else. I’m just here to let you know it’s completely normal. We all struggle through the same emotions and fears; all in our different ways and different circumstances and some more than others, but we all do.

My greatest joy is being able to relate to people through emotions we all feel at some time or another. I listen, like really listen, the kind of listening you crave. Then, I tap into those emotions of mine and write from that place in my soul, those moments in my life, but using your details. Music heals, inspires, and strengthens. Let me help. Let me create music. Life is real. Emotions are real. I believe that it hurts, that it weighs on your mind. Lay it out for me and I will create music to heal your soul in a way that only music can. The kind you can listen to alone and cry or rejoice or use as your “let’s get down to business” song.

Today, I had a long chat with a good friend of mine and for the first time, we let down all our walls and I felt safe. I dared to be vulnerable, as did she. I shared a truth that I am so ashamed of and yet I’m overcoming. It’s like one of those days, when my creative self sits on the couch in my PJs all day. A wall. A distraction. Resistance. Vulnerability. 

I love music and what I can do with it, but now and again, I feel unworthy. Unworthy of good co-writers, making the right connections, having people look up to me. I don’t want to feel that! No one does! That’s why I numb. I numb those emotions by watching TV all day and not looking at the task at hand that is causing me so much turmoil. The problem is, I’m not an all-day TV watcher. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t even recognize that person and I’m embarrassed for people to see that person. I don’t want to share it. I don’t want people to see that, for fear that they’ll make assumptions about me as a person or opinions about my worthiness.

The truth is though, that we all have days like that. We all have moments when we block out and numb the things that cause us pain and turmoil. We can see it in the alcoholic that started drinking when his wife died in a car crash in which he was driving. We see it in the overweight girl who eats ice cream and watches an endless number movies, because she wants to escape the world in which she's teased at school. We see it in the overworked corporate ladder climber who takes a pill to relax on the weekends, so they won’t worry about the things that can’t be controlled. We numb. It’s not uncommon. It’s not unusual. It’s not OK, but it is real. 

Tell me your story, let me feel your pain, so I can put it on paper and to music. Then, you can slowly heal through the music and be better for that experience. No anger, no fear, no consuming thoughts. Just the accepting of what is already past, so you can move forward freely, like a sailboat cutting through water by the power of the wind. This is my offering to the world. This is my passion and the most powerful gift I could ever give. 

Defying the Fear of Failure

I’ve been caught in this web of destruction myself. You’re so scared that you’ll screw up something so important to you that you wind up taking no action at all. The fear of failure debilitates you.

The other night, I had a revelation. It went something like this:

When all else fails, remember that no one knows you (yet). No one cares what you put out onto the inter-web, except your family and friends who already love you no matter what. If you suck, people will ignore it. If you’re deliciously terrible, you’ll make tons of money on YouTube ads. If you’re good, people will be impressed and they’ll do one of two things: 1) enjoy it and move on with their day, which you’ve now impacted :) or 2) share it on their social media and tell friends about it :D

Is there really a down side here? No one cares if you’re invisible, so dare to be invisible. You might just be so remarkable, they notice you.

Here's a video to show that I dare to be invisible: "Anything" by Carolyn Mescher 

Hopefully, you'll notice.  I'm not perfect, but I keep getting better, so this is me right now. 

Write Your First Song: the self-proclaimed non-songwriter’s guide to writing a song

1. Write a list of what’s going on in your life right now, whether they’re successes, habits, relationship woes or excitement, fears, faith, whatever.
2. Pick the one you think sounds like the best song idea (you can pick a few if you’d like to see which ideas play out best)
3. Write about your chosen topic completely. Include both detail and overview. Add smells, sounds, sights, feels, senses, thoughts, how other people may perceive the situation, how other people would think or feel given the same situation.
4. Read what you wrote and pick out any lines or phrases that really hit you. Circle them. Underline any lines or phrases that seem like universal truths or things many people can relate to.
5. Look through your circled and underlined items and see if you found a cool song title, which will also be used as your “hook line”. The hook line is typically the last line in the chorus, the line that sticks with the listener.
6. We’re going to start with a basic and extremely common song structure for this first song: Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus, Chorus.
7. Put your hook line as the last line of your four-line chorus. Pick out other universal truths as well as some details that all relate to your hook line. Arrange them in a way that you would naturally say rhythmically. Think of a poem, like…”Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as snow. Everywhere that Mary went, that lamb was sure to go.” The syllable emphasizes are very rhythmic.
8. Once you have four lines you like for your chorus, all directing the listener to the hook, ie the point of the song, move on to the verses. Think about how you want to get to the chorus and what you may want to say after you’ve made your point in the chorus. You may want to start with imagery and details. You may want to start with a question. It’s really up to you what you think is an interesting first line for your song that you can finish the thought in a four line verse and have the listener ready for what’s coming in the chorus.
9. For the verse melody, you’re looking for something more conversational. Think the same rhythmic/groove feel, like you’re reading a poem in sync with certain syllables emphasized.
10. Once you have four lines you like for the first verse, move onto the second. What can you say now, after the chorus, that wouldn’t have made sense in the first verse? Is there another part of this story you’re telling that had to wait until after the chorus? Maybe there’s a twist? That’s perfect material for the second verse. Look through your notes and pull out ideas, crafting your words into four lines for the second verse.
11. Repeat your same chorus. Make sure this makes sense with what you said in verse two.
12. Read back over your song. If there are any lines you don’t like, work on crafting them into lines you do like. This is your creation. It is whatever you want it to be and whatever you make it. If it strikes a chord with you, it’s done its job.
13. Optional Melody: Your verses typically include more detail and are more conversational, so the melody is more conversational. For the chorus melody, try to jump up a third or a fifth musically. That will make the chorus stand out a little more. If you don’t know what a third or fifth is, just sing higher for the chorus to help make it stand out more.
14. Song complete!
    

Opening Smash Mouth like a Bat Out of Hell

Well, it’s been a fun week! By giving music everything I have, people started noticing me and my music and I was offered an opportunity to open for Smash Mouth! The show was Saturday, June 14 and dang, it felt so great to be on a big stage with all the big lights and space to move around.

Most importantly, it gave me a non-awkward setting to make my songs, not just sound different, but look different! I learned the importance of the look of your live performance by Tom Jackson, Taylor Swift’s live music producer. It turns out, humans process 80% of things visually! No wonder there're lights and pyrotechnics at big concerts! 

I had 11 songs to make look different, so for one of my slow songs, we brought out two stools for my guitar player and I to sit on. I played guitar on “He’s Mine”. For “One Night Man”, I did the infamous pointed finger with my arm straight up in the air on the "one night man" line. “Never Be Ready” was quiet and intimate and one woman even came up to me after the show and told me the story of her special surprise. She said she cried when I sang that song and ended up buying a CD, so she could hear it again and again. That’s what music is all about to me! “All I Need to See” finished up the show rocking it out and the Smash Mouth guitar player, Sean, even tweeted while I was on stage that I was “hitting it hard”!  

Playing that show was inspiring to me! It made me realize what I’m capable of and that I’m not afraid of a big stage, performing, or meeting fans. Those are my favorite parts! I get scared by the little things, the everyday to dos of booking shows and marketing myself, because they're the hardest parts for me. I don’t want to seem like the person constantly marketing and pushing myself on people, asking them to buy my music and support me. I want to be grateful, genuine, and provide opportunities and music that people love! As such, I’m now starting to offer backyard/barn/house concerts to people all over the country! That sounds like a blast to me and a great way to meet amazing people and music listeners! In fact, if you’re interested in hosting a house concert for a birthday, anniversary, event, or just for fun, send me a message! I’d love to speak with you about it!

www.CarolynMescher.com

Special thanks to www.tomjacksonproductions.com for teaching me about live stage production!